Fisher Price Puppy, Bad Dog!

Fisher Price Puppy PictureMy vote for the king of all terribly designed toys? This stupid dog. Oh sure, it’s cute, and it’s fun and it has a cute little voice and it helps your child learn about body parts, yeah, that’s all great. What it also has is the most annoying and poorly thought out feature ever to be put into a toy: the random turn-back on.

Yes, this stupid dog not only sneezes when you push his nose, he randomly says “Hug Me” AFTER your child stops playing with him. So, when your little girl or boy has moved on to something else, or even worse has decided to start settling down for nap time with a little quiet reading on Daddy’s lap, this inane dog will call out and re-start your child up all over again. No doubt this feature was included by the moron in marketing who longs to hear “my child plays with it for hours.” Maybe, but only because it won’t leave my daughter alone. Die, Stupid Dog, Die!

Oh, you think that pushing the nicely accessible On/Off switch on his foot will take care of it? No! That switch works the same way the “Push Button to Cross Street” button works at an intersection. In other words, it doesn’t. Try it. Go to the store, push the On/Off and listen to his cute widdle voice say “Bye-Bye.” Now, touch his Tummy. “Tummy!” That’s right, it’s off as long as you don’t touch it in any way. Hey, Mattel, you lead-paint using morons, Off means Off!

If you want it to be safely quiet you’ll have to pull open the Velcro on the back and move the little switch to off. Guess what baby wants to copy now?

It’s official. All toys with some sort of auto-restart or come-back-to-me type feature are Terrible Toys.

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